From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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