I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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