i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Boobs are out for the taking
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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