I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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