If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
