Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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