how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This toilet bowl is my home.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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