You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
