I want to make a zoo with you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
