Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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