lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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