return my video game
kristin has been a bad kristin
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
