FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
