he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
