I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
