fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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