Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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