I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
