I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we made out on top of his cat.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
