i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
