Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
