i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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