If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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