actually, I'm a sock model
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
