TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
