like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
