She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
