I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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