is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
