Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
