you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
