Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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