i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
