What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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