She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
