I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
