Me too!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
