Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
