Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
