YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
