Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
