her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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