Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
