for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
