just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
