What did we do last night that was yellow?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
