So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
