Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
