he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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