And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
